Our Services
Real lawyers follow the law. We follow opportunity. At Fjënden Fake Law, we specialize in bold claims, creative loopholes, and just enough legality to stay out of trouble. If common sense says no, we say “Let’s litigate!”
Jens Fjënden doesn’t fight legal battles—he outlasts them. By dodging filings, vanishing from dockets, and strategically “misplacing” subpoenas, he ensures that justice is never served… to him, at least.
Supreme Court Fast-Track
“Why wait for justice when we can file directly to the top?”
MeatAVerse Legal Pioneering
“Where virtual reality meets legally questionable reality.”
Writ-Wrangling
“If there’s a way out, we’ll find it. If there isn’t, we’ll create one.”
International Legal Evasion
“The best way to win a case is to never be found.”
Nepotism
Why face a lawsuit when you can simply not be in the jurisdiction? Our global evasion strategies include strategic passport applications, convenient diplomatic appointments, and “relocating” assets overnight.
Address
1234 Divi St. #1000, San Francisco, CA 94220
Phone
(255) 352-6258